Excerpt: Will some brilliant programmer please step up and design a google-type software program that can linguistically analyze and determine a speaker/writer’s cooperative tone and intent? Your new program could identify and distinguish among those writers/speakers whose communications promote a sense of division, partisanship, negativity, polarization, blame, attack, incivility, rudeness, destructiveness, unfriendly competition, bickering and hate—and those promoting a sense of positivity, creativity, life-affirmation, support, harmony, acceptance, forgiveness, productivity, civility, courtesy, equality of opportunity, caring, cooperation and unity. Excerpt: Your software would have endless useful and profitable applications. For immediate profitability, please consider using your product for security purposes, to helpfully ward off unfriendly attacks and attackers (of whatever kind) upon individuals and enterprises (of whatever kind.) Excerpt: Your software will stimulate lively dialogue; increase the impact and number of creative, thought-provoking, and controversial-but-civil exchanges; reduce (by virtue of indifference and neglect) the quantity and influence of divisive communications arising anywhere in the world; universally improve facility in verbal and mental processing of complexities, innuendo and nuances; and inspire us all to pull together cooperatively to resolve our common personal, local and global problems.    more »

(Excerpt): I went to see Quantum of Solace because I liked Daniel Craig as James Bond in Casino Royale, and because I always take my husband to opening weekends of all good new action movies. I’d already heard reviewers complain that this new Craig/Bond was insufficiently Bondish—i.e., not enough jokes, too much heavy emotion, too many similarities to other, un-Bond-like traditionally-vengeful action heroes, not enough Bond-techy gimmicks and vehicles, too few glam locales. And what to make of the movie’s weird politics? And of Bond’s lack-of-sex with his sexy new love interest? I went to see for myself....    more »

(Excerpt): I loved the characters, humor, romance and politics in Ironman, and my husband especially enjoyed the heroism, computers, robotics, stunts, jets and action. The whole theatre, filled with middle/high-schoolers and adults, cheered and clapped when the movie ended. Amazingly enough, we hadn’t even been exploited or insulted by stupid politics, graphic sex, or gratuitous violence masquerading as entertainment.... (Excerpt): You can tell that the whole world is changing when a big-box-office action movie has as its major theme the evils of war profiteering and global weapons proliferation. Ironman simultaneously entertained and enlightened the whole crowd. Multi-faceted Robert Downey Jr. and classy Gwyneth Paltrow were at their most charming. (Excerpt): Ironman is a sweet, funny, exciting, well-made, fast-paced action movie I recommend to all who enjoy high-quality movie-making in this genre….   more »

(excerpt): Rachel Corrie had no affection for bullies. Burning with a wish to stand up to power and deadly violence, she seemed born to resist injustice. I think she would have been just as eager to oppose Palestinians attacking innocent Israelis, were she drawn to their plight first. (Excerpt): I was saddened to think that some who cherish holocaust narratives like The Diary of Anne Frank would try to censor Rachel’s inspired voice and words for partisan reasons. I doubt any peaceful Jew seeing this play would urge such censorship. (Excerpt): Peaceful Christians, Jews, Muslims, and other Americans are often so aggressively intimidated by their own extremist factions that they rarely speak out publicly against the vengeful actions, bloody rhetoric, and sheer barbarism of all they see, on all sides. Caught within the context of a violent century’s heightened emotions, most moderates—peaceful Jews and Christians and Muslims and citizens of all nationalities everywhere—are too frightened to say “Enough” against even the extremist voices within their own groups. (Excerpt): As long as demagogues and partisan extremists freely pressure and intimidate moderates, worldwide anti-Islamism, anti-Semitism, and anti-Americanism will continue to grow. And if the hot-blooded AIPAC successfully pushes extremists in America and Israel into another bloodbath, this time against Iran, the potential for anti-Semitic, anti-American, and anti-Islamic blowback upon moderates in all these groups everywhere will be as terrible as the cataclysmic impact upon the direct victims of the war. (Excerpt): Extremist Jewish leaders preaching the wisdom of ten-eyes-for-an-eye, and depicting Israel as a tiny beleaguered island within a vast sea of murderous Muslims all wanting to kill Jews and “erase Israel from the map” are as repellently manipulative as extremist Palestinian leaders claiming to be merely a defenseless band of ragtag refugees confronting the combined wrath of the world’s largest and most powerful military forces, or American Christian-extremists sounding the alarm of American invasion by rapacious outsiders and infidels, or American patriots bristling with nuclear arms , self-righteously claiming to be the victims of nations working frantically to develop even a single one. (Excerpt): Violence, or violent extremism, or terrorism—that is, resorting to violence to resolve conflicts—turns out to be “the problem” itself, and not, as many have tried to persuade us, any particular ideology, ethnicity, religious tradition, or national affiliation. The burning question is always: who is committed to non-violent resolution of conflicts, and who isn’t?   more »

Not that I can sing, but these two wonderful entertainers sure can. Click on "more" below, and then, below the words to the song, click on the "Dreamin 1.wav" file to hear me sing the words and melody. And please let Tim and Faith know that you've heard a peace and love song that was made just for them (and just made for them, too.... They will know how to pick up some very nice harmonies....) I hope they love it and that you'll love it, too.   more »

(Excerpt:) Why don’t we all just humbly accept that we are all destined to live and die with great mysteries and uncertainties, and that we aren’t meant to know very many things with any great deal of clarity? We can still pursue understanding, but it's more fun when we realize that whatever it is that God intends for us to do and be and have and believe on this earth—if there is indeed a God even of each of our personal understandings, and Whoever or whatever we each choose to mean by that Name—it is very evidently not likely that we will ever clearly understand everything, or anything, and will certainly never all come to the same conclusions. (Excerpt:) Especially in religious, philosophical, and political discourse, we can spend less time divided among our many differences, and instead celebrate and focus upon our many commonalities—all the universal truths upon which we can all agree, all that unites us, such as love, hope, faith (wherever we choose to put that faith), respect, responsibility, honesty, fairness, hard work, spiritual practice, community, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, generosity, purity, selflessness, peacefulness…and the rest of the long list of good things we can all agree upon which goes on forever. These ecumenical values, in all their various positive permutations and versions, can always be communally embraced, taught, admired, built upon, and warmly shared among people of all faiths and ideologies, or of no faith or ideology. Then, instead of forever being self-righteously "right"--that is, wrong--we can celebrate and embrace one another's uniqueness, and...just get along.   more »

I wrote this little poem in my head as I tried to fall asleep beside my dear husband (who rises at 4 a.m.) unfortunately rather too early for me on this night, since I'd just attended a funny, charming and inspiring poetry-reading by Claudia Emerson, the 2006 Pulitzer Prize winner in poetry (won for her book, LATE WIFE--a delightful collection of, among other things, her metaphorical musings about not only being someone else's late (ex) wife, but also her experiences "living with" the presence of her new husband's late wife.... ) Anyway, since I couldn't sleep, I tried to pray, and when I found myself still too excited to pray, but only able to play metaphorically with the idea of my praying--with how my prayers come to me very abstractly, then swell pregnantly, taking gradual form, then, as in defiance of their weightiness, struggle and rise in softly articulating bursts, then lift off like tiny helicopters into the ether, to float, one with me, in white infinite light.... After a wrestling match between my better angels and my wish for sleep, I got up and wrote down this "poem"....   more »

(Excerpt): THE DEPARTED is a too-long slog through a repellent underworld of hopelessness, human frailty, and continual struggle. An angry, bitter old man’s cynical vision of despair and disillusionment, it mocks all human efforts to rise above past and primal influences. Its desired audience-response seems to be disgust. (Excerpt): Although THE DEPARTED offered challenging roles to talented actors and film-makers, I kept wondering, why did any of them, the immensely talented and capable Scorsese included, even bother? Why make this movie? What’s the point of pooling all that energy, creativity, and talent for such a boring, complicated, and pointless script? THE DEPARTED is neither entertaining, nor satisfying, nor thought-provoking, nor enlightening, nor any other respected goal of movie-making—unless perhaps you find pleasure in staring at cripples or ogling car wrecks. (Excerpt): Scorsese’s many clumsy attempts at youthful (Tarantinoesque?) edginess played out as merely shock-by-politically-incorrect low-life humor, inspiring only embarrassed titters. I found this film completely lacking in compassion, crass, boorish, and childishly defiant about religion, race, and responsibility. It was definitely a movie offering family values--all the wrong ones. For those hooked on action and violence who want to see positive values, start with L.A. Confidential or A History of Violence (see my review elsewhere in this blog), In The Line of Fire or The Fugitive. It can be done!    more »

EXCERPT: For the first time, Americans are experiencing the christian spirits of this exotic and unfamiliar culture which devoutly prays many times daily, is devoted to family, and which, just like Christians, exhorts its children at home, mosque and school to acts of goodness, kindness, generosity, and peace. EXCERPT: When we choose to see them through christian-spirited eyes, we’ll see a gentle people who have suffered greatly during a century of relentless violence from outsiders, simply because oil was discovered on the land of their ancestors, who yet still reach out hospitably to all who come, not as occupiers and invaders, but as peaceful, respectful visitors and citizens. EXCERPT: Most Muslims, like most Christians, have “christian” spirits, wanting to raise families in a compassionate culture which nurtures universal values. Yet most Americans today agree that, somewhere along the way, America has lost many of her ‘christian’ ways.    more »

Here are some of my hobbies(painting, cartooning, etc.) as well as a self-portrait, and a portrait of me by my five-year-old friend, Alexa. Look for them elsewhere in my website to see/learn more.... Thank you for visiting my website! -eppyharmon   more »

Excerpt: A few months ago, I decided to watch some of the best-received war movies that came out of the Vietnam war—The Deer Hunter, The Killing Fields, Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, and Coming Home, as well as some recent and older ones—The Battle of Algiers, Crimson Tide, Saving Private Ryan, The Enemy Below, and Black Hawk Down. Excerpt: I found amazing agreement in all these books and movies in their moral conclusions about war, even as each offered me a unique personal perspective and story unlike any other. Excerpt: Over and over, every work expressed or implied the point of view that “their” war had been insane, cruel, hard, sad, misguided, and stupid, and that it had seemed to create far more problems than it resolved. Their actual acts of war—the killing parts—were consistently experienced as pointless, chaotic, numbing, unreasonable, inhumane, confusing, wrong--and often thrilling, in that the pointy end of the sword had actually gone into some other man.   more »

Excerpt: My lifelong interest in “enlightenment”—or whatever you want to call that enduring wisdom which offers relative equanimity in adversity, and acceptance of the world and its inhabitants, “as-is”—began with a childhood reading of Rudyard Kipling’s Kim. I loved the gentle monk and his Little-Friend-of-all-the-World. At about the same age, I was similarly intrigued by the cloistered life depicted in the movie, The Nun’s Story. Reading my grandmother’s Bible, I observed the same spirit of love and forgiveness in the gentle teachings of Jesus, and later, in college, marveled at Gandhi’s and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s writings. As years passed, I wondered if the rare, kind, and imperturbable elders, both sick and well, rich and poor, whom I occasionally encountered were also “enlightened” beings, and if so, what wonderful secret, what key to peace and acceptance did they possess?   more »

I hope you'll click on "more" to see a political cartoon I drew this week....   more »

Please click on "More" below to see a photo of Eppy, her dad, and daughter missing each other on Fathers' Day ....   more »

(Please click on "MORE" below to preview my latest comic strip, on which this essay is based....) Excerpt: I felt hurt when my childhood friends laughed at me for devoutly believing in Santa Claus, and foolish, when they later scorned me for doubting the existence of my childhood fairytale-God.... All my omnipotent, omniscient household dieties such as Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy--all solemnly attested to by the otherwise scrupulously honest adults in my life--later turned out to be a childish embarrassment, mere games and illusions swallowed only by simpletons. On the other hand, unraveling the mysteries of religion increasingly seemed to be a difficult and profound thing, to be accepted on faith, and understood only by hoarier heads than mine, perhaps in faroff adulthood.... "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" (the circular argument legitimizing the commercialized Santa by equating him with the Christian spirit of love) didn't clear up any of my confusions at all.....    more »

Among many other wonderful, critically-acclaimed foreign films I’ve seen recently through Netflix, the following are truly the best of the best….   more »

Check out my latest comic strip--about spring, gardens, pets.... Just click on the comic strip at the top, in the left column. The one below it is also new...it's about bullying.... Enjoy, and a happy Spring to all my readers everywhere..... I love reader feedback--please write to me at epharmon@adelphia.net (NOT epharmony@adelphia.net) I'll reprint your letter and share my responses with my readers. I welcome questions too. Happy Spring! - Eppy   more »

(excerpt): Through whispered conversations, I soon “knew” what my schoolmates “knew”—that all these kids were children of “illegals” who had snuck across the river, and who were now sneaking around in bushes and backrooms doing filthy jobs none of our parents would dream of doing, living in hovels, and probably stealing and breaking other laws too. We exchanged warnings about their poor side of town: don’t go near the San Antonio River unless you want to get knifed by a “mex”…. (excerpt): The wealthiest among my friends claimed to “own a ‘wet’ (‘wetback’) or two,” whom their parents kept hidden away on distant ranches in shacks stocked with sacks of beans, to chop cedar and clear brush in the searing sun, at the cost of pennies a day. (excerpt) :From that ragtag bunch of schoolmates of yesteryear, no doubt themselves largely parented by penniless, ignorant laborers who dared their way across the border, had come this impressive line of smiling, capable, courteous, faith-driven professionals. Where “mexicans” had previously been relegated only to San Antonio’s lowest social classes, now they were the home-care aides who tenderly washed and fed my father, the capable nurses who treated him, the orderlies who gently attended him in hospital, the capable doctors who set his broken hip, the hospice workers who comforted us, the owners of the funeral home, and the directors who helped us plan his funeral. (excerpt): Latinos now ably ran much of the city, blending in with the anglo minority attractively—and patriotically. As I hurried through busy days, helpful Latino faces sold me groceries and hardware, delivered our packages, repaired our dishwasher, patrolled the streets, and repaired phone wires. My father’s accountant was hispanic, as was his attorney....   more »

WHAT WE DO /// Women in black / Witness violence / Everywhere / In vigils of / Silent solidarity / Mourn all victims / All of us // Light candles / For the attacked / Abused abandoned / Tortured murdered / Lift / All who hurt / Within / / A circle of peace / Illuminating night / Leaving / No one / Not one / Outside alone / In darkness /   more »

(Excerpt): The fact that anyone could enjoy this movie on the level of a simple, poignant, romantic comedy should not detract from its value as a multifaceted meditation upon the human challenges inherent in connecting with any “other”—whether in “translating” one’s self to another, or in meaningfully “translating” another’s mysterious mumblings and gestures in our own direction. Far too often, we are left feeling all alone in the world throughout most of our lives, feeling quite “lost in translation.” (Excerpt): Bill Murray’s unique talents are all on glorious display, as are Scarlett Johannsen’s equally bounteous ones, which have an umplumbable feel to them. She defiantly withholds an illusive, precious, sensuous little secret—like Garbo’s, like Monroe’s—whose unveiling the world will breathlessly await forever. Casting Johannsen, like casting Gwyneth Paltrow, will elevate any movie. Only great direction can account for the consistent quality of all the other "smaller" performances.... (Excerpt): Lost in Translation is perfectly titled, because Copolla shines her tragicomic vision on the challenges each of us, no matter how talented or well-intentioned, face in communicating, caring, and empathizing across the mile-high/-wide/-deep chasm of human individual differences. Copolla’s laser gaze scintillates not only cultural barriers such as language and custom, but universal obstacles as well—differences in gender, age, social class, lifestyle, goals, values, interests, backgrounds, personalities—and even the molehills and mountains of distance and time....(Excerpt): I cannot imagine a soundtrack more thoughtfully selected or edited in support of the shifting impressions, emotions, and experiences Coppola develops in each new scene... (Excerpt): I lived for a few childhood years in Tokyo during the American post-war occupation, and took away beautiful, evanescent impressions, so perhaps I’m more susceptible to the delights of this movie than your typical movie-goer. Watching Lost in Translation, I'm enchanted both by remembered charms and recent technological innovations, as well as by the awkward Japanese embrace of things western.....   more »

(Excerpt): On one sad level, Americans today are relegated to living in the land of the free-to-make-a-buck and the home of the brave-but-stupid, which is too bad, because I don’t remember voting for any such peculiarly modern-American mantra.... The Iranian movie industry, currently severely constrained by their reigning theocracy to produce only non-violent, non-sexual movies, has responded with a lovely array of internationally recognized award-winning values- and family-based films which are poignant, gripping, and thought-provoking. Someday, a responsive and representative government of, by, and for the American people will surely find ways to preserve our most-cherished freedoms, while supporting visionary media output that promotes the great diversity of healthful and positive values, lifestyles, and choices....   more »

My father's delightful response to thunder-and-lightning storms and big windstorms was to pour himself a drink, pull a chair up to the window, and watch all the excitement of nature's beautiful fury! My mom always told me to look for the good and beautiful in weather, because you can't do ...   more »

(Comments on Zzzzippeedee Dooohhh Daaahhhh....): What a difference perspective makes.... Whenever I'm feeling blue or resisting something that just "is," I try to remember to ask God for another way of looking at the person or situation--and I always receive what I ask for (it helps to pay attention and be ready for the answer.) I drew this comic strip soon after one of those happy moments when I'd received such an answer to a prayer. I remember feeling resentful, feeling like an old ugly lonesome drudge, about some housework I had to do, and praying, as I looked out the window, for another way of seeing my present situation. Suddenly I focused on a bird "working" for her brood, but nothing could have been more natural, beautiful, purposeful, or right than that little brown bird doing her thing for her family. Renewed with my wonderful answer to my prayer, I went back to work--this time joyfully.   more »

(Two) Scenes We'd Like To See....

 

 

(Excerpt): Both George Bush and Osama Bin Laden are vilified in various cultures as inhuman heartless killers, while other cultures hero-worship them as charismatic and patriotic leaders whose just causes “force” them to manfully take up arms—whether by terrorism or military force—to achieve their political aims. (Excerpt): Popular media in all nations dehumanize public enemies, then often turn around and just as thoroughly and miraculously restore them to dignity and respectability during political détentes. I recall my astonishment, moral conflict, and deep embarrassment, when the evil Russians I’d been so carefully taught to indignantly and self-righteously hate and fear, magically became our homeboys overnight. The same thing happened, of course, with the “Krauts” and the “Japs,” who, just as we were assured by our government after a terrible war, turned out to be, really, just like us. I’d like to think the same thing will happen, sooner rather than later, between Islam and the West. (Excerpt): I wish these two particular men could learn to resolve their differences without violence. They remind me of unsocialized playground children, throwing sand in each others’ faces, playing with their war toys, acting like swaggering thugs and cowards in turn, always foolish and hurtful to all around them. I wish they would grow up and solve their problems like civilized adults. (Excerpt): So many innocents have endured so much tragic death and destruction, on both sides, for so many years. For what…?! (Excerpt): I abused the current popularity of Brokeback Mountain to make my political points. However, while I’m sure that a week of roughing it alone/together in the mountains would create dialogue, understanding, and maybe even camaraderie between these two men, I’m confident that they’re both firmly and happily set, by now, in their hetero ways. Although, to be sure, nothing surprises me anymore. Maybe someday we really will see these two happily mountain biking together in Afghanistan.... You may call me a dreamer, but I’m not the only one….    more »

Sing this song to the tune of "Jesus loves the little children...." (Click "more" below for a more organized look....) We’re so sick of all the fighting/ Sick of wars around the world/ Red and yellow black and white/ Stop the fighting, it’s not right/ If you love the little children of the world/ Won’t you put away your weapons/ They just hurt our moms and dads/ All our friends and family too/ 'Til we don’t know what to do/ If you love the little children of the world/ Won’t you try to solve your problems/ Please take turns and share your toys/ You don’t have to fuss and fight/ ‘Cause it hurts us most, that’s right/ If you love the little children of the world/ Let us play with other children/ Go to school and sing our songs/ If you let us learn and play/ You’ll be glad you did, some day/ If you love the little children of the world/ Please believe in one another/ Trust that others are like you/ Everybody needs a hand/ All together we can stand/ If you love the little children of the world/ Please remember all are brothers/ Doesn’t matter where we’re from/ Different people can be one/ Let’s be friends with everyone/ If you love the little children of the world/ Won’t you stay at home and raise us/ Don’t go marching off to war/ We need help and we need care/ Need to know that you’ll be there/ If you love the little children of the world/ Won’t you try to keep your temper/ Doesn’t matter, wrong or right/ Please be gentle, please be mild/ Then you’ll never hurt a child/ If you love the little children of the world/ Hating hurts the little children/ Children all around the world/ Suffer day and suffer night/ Stop the hating, it’s not right/ If you love the little children of the world/ If they start a war tomorrow/ Please just tell them you won’t go/ Please stay home and care for me/ Oh how happy we will be/ If you love the little children of the world/ Never hurt another person/ Even though life seems unfair/ Even when your heart is blue/ We’ll hold hands and see it through/ If you love the little children of the world/ Please don’t be one of the bad guys/ Never let that guy be you/ All the guys who blow things up/ How we wish they would grow up/ If you love the little children of the world/ Please don’t ever hurt another/ Sad things happen when you do/ Find a way to end the fight/ Find a way to make things right/ If you love the little children of the world/ Won't you please just solve your problems/ Talk them over till you do/ Take your time and stay up late/ There’s no hurry, we can wait/ If you love the little children of the world/ Fighting only makes it harder/ Try to share and share alike/ There’s enough for all, it’s true/ When we do what we should do/ If you love the little children of the world/ Won’t you stop all of the hurting/ All the crying and the pain/ Help us keep our eyes and hands/ Let us live in our own lands/ If you love the little children of the world/ It’s not really so confusing/ You can do it if you try/ Do as you would want them to/ It’s not really hard to do/ If you love the little children of the world/ Hold your ears and never listen/ To the mean things people say/ You don’t have to be afraid/ We’re a family God has made/ If you love the little children of the world/ Help us build a world for children/ All the children of the world/ Build a world of peace and joy/ Safe for every girl and boy/ If you love the little children of the world/   more »

Excerpt: Marshall ... chose to heavily reinforce the popular delusion that no real feminist could ever, in good conscience, put herself in service to a man. (Excerpt): Marshall’s vision suggests that geisha's primarily physical services emerge from a secretive, machiavellian world of women who dislike and disrespect men, and who plot together to exploit men’s weaknesses. (Excerpt): Many modern women are completely confused about whether feminism is compatible with any kind of compassionate service (especially to men!) at all. Some women have come to wonder if service work of any kind--nursing, house cleaning, waiting tables--is unfeminist and demeaning. Many women feel constrained even within their marriages or romantic relationships, fearing that offering a life of lovingly exchanged service to a man must surely be anti-feminist—a form of caving to the enemy, of servility. When modern women do find it within themselves to offer men their friendliest services, many still wonder if there’s not something smarmy or beneath them about such offerings, even if their every hormone and natural givingness urges them ceaselessly to slather their beloved with wholehearted attention and kindness. There is nothing sexist or anti-feminist about loving men (or women, for that matter)--about attracting them, pleasing them, or giving to them wholeheartedly. Loving, giving, and compassionate service of all kinds are never unworthy in themselves, although unworthy contexts involving extremes of compulsion, lack of appreciation and reciprocation truly are sexist and immoral. Devoted service offered willingly and lovingly in an appreciative, reciprocal (if not tit-for-tat) context is absolutely necessary to optimal human functioning and happiness, and completely different from the kind of forced or half-hearted service in which someone’s gifts are disparaged, unreciprocated, and unappreciated. Too many people nowadays overlook the fact that the very essence of a good relationship is standing in service to one another, regardless of whether that partnership is between husband and wife, mother and daughter, friends, siblings, in-laws, a CEO and her new mail clerk, young lovers…whoever. Every conceivable positive relationship is based in reciprocal service. Relationships that are not about reciprocal service—however loosely defined—are not really relationships at all; they’re isolated billiard balls knocking about an empty lonely pool table universe, banging together sporadically and spectacularly in conflict and competition before resuming their separated lives. The most universally prized life-enhancing romantic relationship, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, is one in which your dearly-beloved treats you like a king (or a princess), a goddess (or a god). Among the keys to such heavenly bliss are good-faith, wholeheartedness, appreciation, and reciprocation. Because of confusion about the subtleties of feminism, modern romantic relationships evolved to become less concerned with caring, commitment, and helping one another in a challenging world, and more about cold, competitive calculations and sexual politics. Both sexes worry whether warm displays of affection will be perceived to be neediness. Both sexes fear that generous-spirited service iwill mply servitude. Both sexes exhaust themselves in endless, awkward, conflicted, back-and-forth rituals of worrying whether they’re giving more than they receive. Both sexes are all about, “you go first.” Yet both sexes are fully aware that their beloved wants a partner who is both powerful and slavishly devoted—because frankly, that’s what they want too. Many people deeply enjoy the lavish, tender, solicitous attention of an enchanting member of the opposite sex. More young people of both sexes these days are giving up on what they see as the relationship game, foregoing the pain and uncertainty of modern committed relationships in great part because of their understandable confusion about the wisdom of putting themselves at service to another. I mean, if their long-dreamed-of personification of virtuous masculine/feminine perfections is ultimately unwilling to bow down, worship and serve them all their days, well really, why bother? (Excerpt): Geisha lore offers a tempting (but not exclusive) window on relatively rare social arts: attentiveness, affection, tenderness, flirting, gentleness, refinement, courtesy, agreeableness, femininity, respect, presence, charm, humor, kindness, intellect, sensitivity, openness, loyalty, sensuality, giving, honoring, playfulness, intimacy, nurturing, acceptance, forgiveness, support, generosity, assistance, vulnerability, respect for tradition, and, in general, making a fuss over, and spoiling men rotten. Geisha are really good at making men feel truly wonderful about themselves. What’s not to like about that? Whenever and however did this venerable list of praiseworthy social skills become politically incorrect? These subtly but important graces--along with physical beauty, gorgeous accoutrements, and skill in the arts of music, dance, serving food and the like--are a goodly part of what real geisha are all about, not to mention real women, real men, real relationships, and real feminism.    more »

(Excerpt): If "To Live" was intended to be a very persuasive heroic epic offering a model of feminine perfection during a lifetime of political and personal adversity, it succeeded admirably. I had to keep reminding myself that it was only a movie, and that the character played by Gong Li was fictional; I was stunned by her purity, refinement, selflessness, tranquility, quiet charm, and gentleness, and her apparent total commitment to creating a peaceful family life. Repeatedly, she let go of past regrets and bitterness, and worked through the many negatives of her life with a positive attitude toward the present and the future--despite a marriage to a weak, difficult husband.....(Excerpt): I can't wait to see Gong Li as the evil Hatsumomo in "Memoirs of a Geisha." I've read that she does a brilliant job as Sayuri's rival. What an opportunity to see Gong Li's full range of acting abilities--from her portrayal of the somewhat Melanie Wilkes-type character in "To Live," all the way to her villainous geisha in "Memoirs."   more »

Excerpt: This is a little short story I drafted a while ago about a mother/adolescent-daughter relationship. It's fiction, but like all fiction, there's a bit of autobiographical truth to it, too. It's all about how hard it is, especially within families (where we get so stuck within our own shared histories, neuroses, and mistakes) to learn, instead, to love, listen, accept, grow, change, forgive, and stay in the present moment.... Here's the beginning of the story: "I search her face across the table for its usual reassuring perfections, but the comforting illusion of Claire the Exquisite eludes me today. She's talking warily--but at least she's talking, that's good. So often we don't talk at all. Such a tiff in the car on the way over here, about nothing. And then we both laughed at that sign announcing "Reliable Junk"--our own private shared brand of hilarity. We laugh at all the same things. Why waste even a minute picking at each other?"   more »

Excerpt: The many intertwined plots were surprising and satisfying, never pat. The disparate characters were each interesting and believable, and their choices turned out to be very true to their characters. I felt a sense of real people, distinct, unique, each with his/her own very human set of strengths and weaknesses, each making real, important choices; yet this movie left me with no sense at all of strings having been tidily or predictably tied up, or even ending. Instead, I felt that much had changed, much had stayed the same, and family life would go on, a bit differently. How like life....   more »

Excerpt: Today's bloody unity in Iraq can be maintained only by imposition of yet another inhumane, repressive KGB-type police state, backed by a huge, permanent, deadly U.S. occupation. It is in no one's best interests to continue to force our own fallible western institutions upon historically self-identified "Kurds," "Sunnis," and "Shiites" fiercely loyal to their own unique sets of traditions, religious beliefs, and leadership, and committed to political self-determination and separatist destinies. Remember that it was foreigners who once arbitrarily invented "Iraq's" national borders, and who cynically installed a vicious dictator (Saddam) to squish these three distinct groups together for our own imagined selfish interests. After a century of violent outside interference, "Iraqis" justifiably don't trust us, and don't want us over there "helping" them--except as invited guests. Before we drain the last drop of lifeblood from our grandchildren and our economy, we can choose to back away from all militaristic regional leaders, and instead transfer our most generous financial, diplomatic and media support to non-violent, popular cultural representatives of each distinct ethnicity, who can then work cooperatively to minimize civil unrest and instability, and light the way toward mutual achievement of their OWN (equally fallible) highest priorities, ideals and solutions. And yes, the United States will have to stand in line humbly to buy oil at market prices, just like every other nation. Terrorism breeds wherever angry youths seeth under inflammatory external ruthless tyrannies. There is no violent "way" to peace and stability in the Middle East, or at home. Peace IS the way.   more »

Click on my latest posting, a quiz/drawing/political cartoon called "soldier," on the left side of this blog. So what do you think?   more »

Excerpt: Peace and democracy aren't missions that can be accomplished. They're missions that never end. You can't end a war against an abstract noun. Besides, there will always be one more bomb-throwing terrorist to provide an excuse for one more retaliation. I hope Geena teaches us that sometimes you just have to endure a certain amount of injustice--but you almost never have to add to it.   more »

Excerpt: You understand that the one power you have that will never corrupt you is your power to make something lovely. You turn to your garden to create, not to consume. You know that work is the one prayer that most deserves to be answered. You feed the hungry. Your work is sensuous and sensual, and you find joy in its direct experience. You are close to the soil and fully connected to the earth. You are here, now. Your work is love made visible.   more »

I've posted two portraits of eppy, plus some of my drawings and paintings and a comic strip.... Look down the left column, or click on various "topics" to see all of them.    more »